Trough

Damn it all.

It creeps into your soul.
Slowly…then faster.
It coils around a fibre – yours
Thick coils, heavy with regret
Pulling you down.
The faint hint of a proud surmount crumbles
To Dirt.
Absolute darkness hurled over the flickering glow
Of sweet hopeful anticipation.
Throttled.
Murdered.
Cold. Bitter. Hurting. Raw…
Just a few moments now…
Wait
You will watch it break:
The stinging rope…or your nerve?

Damn this gloom. Damn this wretchedness.
Oh, what the heck... damn it all, and be done with it!!

Easy choice

Why make a big deal about decisions?

You like this. You don’t like that.
This is new. Cool! That’s been around for ages.
You’ve been thinking about this for a long, long time. True. Accept it. There’s nothing to think about- people have exhausted thinking about that.
You can do this differently. You know you can!! You can do that exactly how it’s supposed to be done.
This excites you. This is unbeatable!!! That would be boring. Definitely.
This makes you happy. Life in Technicolour. That doesn’t.
You want this. And how!!! You don’t want that.
You’ll risk this. You’ve got guts, yo! That’s safe and sure.
This could take you places. Go, go, go…!!! There’s only one place that can take you to.
Maybe this will… Yes, this really could…

“…Maybe you shouldn’t…”.

That’s that.

Borrowed power

Theater. Court Martial. Walk. Night. Coffee. The right mood. Not to mention, utter joblessness.

They say it’s a crime to take a life. A murderer violates the Divine Law- he takes away that which he cannot give.
Or does he?
With every breath, every thought, every word, every move – you’re mired deeper in what seems an irreversible quicksand. So, you think you can give back what you've taken. Self righteously claim that you do not accept favors you cannot return. Play with space with time as your variable- imagine a future where things fall into place, the way you would put them.
Life. Yours over your neighbour’s. Balanced that way, you can snuff out another’s existence. Universally accepted principle: delicately called “survival of the fittest”. A life taken no longer a sin.
Where do you draw the line of control?
Groups. Small. Big. Bigger.
Pick the undeserving. Eliminate.
You’re God in your restricted arena.
Yeah, right.

Torture

Discovered Atlas Shrugged three years ago. Found it incredible.
Discovered Fountainhead three days ago. Wish I hadn’t.

What’s the worst crime you’ve committed? Today? Yesterday? This week? This year? In your entire life??
I refuse to believe that there can exist even a single individual who’s never done anything wrong. A simple justification (which works for most questions, on most subjects)- Theory of Relativity. What your Mom thinks is a crime, might strike you as just an ordinary event, and what strikes you as blatant treachery by a “friend” might honestly not seem like one to him…

So what of it? Punishing yourself for a wrong… when a wrong never puts another wrong right…Amused by the pain? Testing for your Ultimate Yield Strength? Declaring your integrity?

Self inflicted torture is the purest form of abasement.
Bullshit.

Yes or no?

Prioritize. Work. Wait.

Life follows a simple enough algorithm, after all.

Rules. Doubts. People. Junctures. Prudence.

Who says what’s got to be done’s simply got to be done?
I have a million reasons why it shouldn’t.